This understanding of what it means to be an outsider, to live your life outside the confines of what you're supposed to be or what’s “normal” — is this an understanding she gave you?
Yes. Because, like I said, I would get picked on ruthlessly and mercilessly every day of my childhood, and the one thing she said that always stayed with me was “You know what, baby? When they want to be your friend they'll be late, because you’ll be gone. So don't cry over them not wanting to know you now, because when they want to know you, they won't have the opportunity.” So I started to hold dear to the idea of being myself and being so unique. I realized that when those kids wanted to be surrounded by my presence, I would have already moved on to some other destination in my life, some other plane.
That’s really important. I’m glad you had that support.
Yeah, my fashion is what it is because, looking back, I used to change clothes at least once a day — go home during lunch and change clothes and go back. I was getting picked on so much that my outfit would get ruined, so I’d call my grandmother — because my mother worked too far away — and I’d already have an outfit laid out so I could go home and change my look. So I wasn't wearing the same clothes that had the energy of me being picked on for the second half of the school day. I could feel confident and comfortable and not look like I had just been bullied or beaten up. And it wasn’t like I was trying to make these cute outfits for fun; it was more like, I need to have these multiple outfits a day so that I can focus and succeed in school. It was survival.
How old were you at this time?
This was junior high. I was a short, stumpy, overweight kid with breasts, which made me easy to ridicule. And then being black in the South made me ripe for ridicule. And it was constant, from every angle. The summer before high school, before 9th grade, I grew probably eight inches. And all of a sudden people looked at me in a different way. One of my friends said I went from being infamous to being famous.
Yes. Because, like I said, I would get picked on ruthlessly and mercilessly every day of my childhood, and the one thing she said that always stayed with me was “You know what, baby? When they want to be your friend they'll be late, because you’ll be gone. So don't cry over them not wanting to know you now, because when they want to know you, they won't have the opportunity.” So I started to hold dear to the idea of being myself and being so unique. I realized that when those kids wanted to be surrounded by my presence, I would have already moved on to some other destination in my life, some other plane.
That’s really important. I’m glad you had that support.
Yeah, my fashion is what it is because, looking back, I used to change clothes at least once a day — go home during lunch and change clothes and go back. I was getting picked on so much that my outfit would get ruined, so I’d call my grandmother — because my mother worked too far away — and I’d already have an outfit laid out so I could go home and change my look. So I wasn't wearing the same clothes that had the energy of me being picked on for the second half of the school day. I could feel confident and comfortable and not look like I had just been bullied or beaten up. And it wasn’t like I was trying to make these cute outfits for fun; it was more like, I need to have these multiple outfits a day so that I can focus and succeed in school. It was survival.
How old were you at this time?
This was junior high. I was a short, stumpy, overweight kid with breasts, which made me easy to ridicule. And then being black in the South made me ripe for ridicule. And it was constant, from every angle. The summer before high school, before 9th grade, I grew probably eight inches. And all of a sudden people looked at me in a different way. One of my friends said I went from being infamous to being famous.